What did we do last night that was yellow?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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