He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
