Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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