Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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