dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
