Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
birth control should be required to get into college
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
