She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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