STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
