you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
