You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize