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I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
