Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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