Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i was born a porn star she said
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
