She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
