He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
