I will die if light touches me.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
