people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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