I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
it's great music for shaving your balls
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
