did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You made out with two different species that night
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
