your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Someone signed my nipple.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
