Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
