yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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