Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize