Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
