I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
