I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
