East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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