Got a toothbrush?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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