Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
