sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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