I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
