I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
