I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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