please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
