looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize