I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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