yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize