I'm going to jail i love you
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
