Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
