Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
