I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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