every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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