Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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