another moral hangover. fuck.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
i now understand why vodka
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
