can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize