yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
