I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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