i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize