I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
