i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Randomize
