I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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