so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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