It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
