Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
