Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
