We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
