what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
