Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize