we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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