It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
