spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
