found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
