i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
