small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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