I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
this just has baby written all over it
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
