i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Congratulations! We have a period
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