I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
