is your mom at the bar?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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