So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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