It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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