I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
